How staying grateful to mothers makes life better

Author Mike Ghouse pays tribute to his mother on Mother's Day

One way to pay tribute to your mother is to dedicate your day to her, don’t do anything but be with her, there is immense joy in it. Those who have lost their mothers, they can write about her and pray for her soul.

This story is about an inclusive Mother’s day. Blessed are those who were raised by loving, and caring Mothers. Exalted are the Single Mothers who sacrifice every pleasure of their life so their kids don’t miss out on life. Enthroned are those fathers who raised their kids as a father and a mother. Of course, our prayers and empathy for those who grew up with no mother or abusive mothers, but still made it.

This essay also includes Mothers in different religious traditions, the name ‘Mother’ in 115 languages, and honoring a few women that I know and appreciate,  including my Mother and Grand Mother.

Twenty years ago, when my mother called me to say, she was leaving this world, I was overwhelmed with emotion, but felt good to tell her that I loved her and let her know that, whatever I am today is because of her. That was one of the best things I have done in my life to express my gratitude. Within two hours I was on the plane from Dallas to Bangalore but reached my home four hours after she passed away.

 

 

Mike Ghouse's mother

My mother remains a great source of inspiration for me- Mike Ghouse

 

Even after her death, she shaped my life with two particular items. She taught me by example to tie the loose ends of life and keep the slate of my life as clean as I can. It is her blessings. The next thing she told me was to meet her in paradise and tell her that I died helping someone, but certainly not counting money, and that drove me from money-making activities to volunteering. Today, I am at peace with myself, and pleased to have achieved the pinnacle of life by establishing the Center for Pluralism – a nonprofit 501 (c) (3) organization committed to building cohesive societies, where every human feels secure about his/her faith, race, ethnicity and culture.

I am grateful to Everett Blauvelt, my friend, and the father figure to me, he told me to spend time with my mother without arguing. Of course, everyone gets into arguments with his/her mother, so was I. But after that sane advice, every time I visited her, I sat next to her on the bench (Takht). She will tell me everything about everyone and I would shut up and listen, it was not easy, but I did. What a blessing it was, after two hours of filling my ears she would lit up and gave me the Jimmy Carter smile. That was my reward and my blessing and that was the other best thing I have done in my life. I cherish her happy face forever. So my friends, please dedicate your day to your mother. Friends come and go, you move from place to place – but your mother is there for you.

On Mothers Day and on her death anniversary, as a Muslim, I find comfort in starting my day by praying two units of prayer and reciting a chapter from the Quran. My whole day remains peaceful.

I appreciate all the mothers who have raised their kids well, particularly single mothers and single fathers. Getting them ready to go to school and juggling between taking them to different playgrounds, daycare, and work is not easy.

A lot of sacrifices are made by single mothers and single fathers who are also mother to their kids.  No amount of appreciation will be enough. Whatever you are today, it is because of your mother.  In the following essay, I will share a few personal examples of the struggle mothers go through, and how you can appreciate them, which in turn brings you a blissful life.

 

 

Author Mike Ghouse

Author Mike Ghouse

 

Mother is the ultimate definition of selflessness! No matter what happens to the world or even her, she is there for you in your need; she recognizes your need much before you even know it. Of course every day is Mother’s day, and each one of us honors her in a variety of ways.  Just giving her a smile, a thank you, and caring to do things for her makes her happy and feel appreciated.

Mothers don’t need a whole lot; they just need to know that you care. Remember, you were showered by her attention when you needed it.

A majority of us are fortunate to have the love and affection of a mother to bless our lives. However, we cannot forget the pain and anguish of men and women who were not blessed with a loving mother.  I assure you that you are a blessed one to have made it in life without mothers’ love, and since you missed it, it is time for you to give that love to others and restore the spirit of love within you.

I am pleased to acknowledge and appreciate a few people that I know; from my ex-wife Ella to the people I happen to know. What is common to all of them is they remained devoted to raising their children and sacrificed their own lives for the good of their children.

My grandmother raised my father and aunt when she became a widow at Sixteen and never took any one’s help and raised her kids working day and night,  remaining single all her life until she was Ninety-eight.   She was an independent woman with a lot of self-respect and dignity.  I salute all the mothers for their sacrifices and admire them for their achievements.

 

 

Mike Ghouse speaking for human equality

Mike Ghouse speaking up for human equality and coexistence

 

A person who is not grateful, and has not learned to express gratitude is seriously handicapped in living a full life.  He or she will miss out a lot, but they can change it, it is their choice to express gratitude.  It’s time to express gratitude to our mothers; it restores the spiritual balance in each one of us. In my case, on every Mothers day, I pray and write a tribute to my mother and this is dedicated to her and all the single mothers.

I had a radio show way back in the mid-Nineties and on Mother’s day, I took live calls for three hours.  Every one of the callers cried talking about his or her late mother and I burst out crying. it was worth it for my Mother.  When I visit India, from the airport, I go straight to the cemetery to pay tribute to my parents and my grandmother and maternal grandfather, who all shaped in my raising.

Life is about transactions. Each time we receive a “good” we become indebted to the giver, but when we give back to the giver or find alternate ways of giving back,  i.e.,  expressing gratitude and apologizing for the shortcomings, we complete the transaction.  When we do that, we regain our spiritual balance, bringing us salvation, nirvana, mukti, moksha, nijaat, and freedom. Try it and see the good it does to you.

If you have tensions with her, seek her forgiveness today.  If she is not around, spend half an hour meditating about her and see the sense of completeness you feel within you.

Categories
2020FamilyMother's DayOpinionSpiritual ExperienceSpirituality

Mike Ghouse is Executive Director of the Center for Pluralism. His book American Muslim Agenda is available on Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, Kindle, Google, and other book stores.
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